Halloween Madness!

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Well-well-well, I guess the Halloween party I DID decide to go to was not that bad after all. I dressed up as a female version of Mickey Mouse, and I've lost quite a lot of weight, so I was happy that I went because looking through the pictures, I don't appear to be the FAT girl of the pictures because even when I was sitting down, my belly didn't seem to be overflowing like it kind of did before haha. Well done Cleo.. However, it is my term break now, and I need to get a LOT of work in to ensure I'm not behind or anything in class, but anyway this entry isn't about that, it's about the party. I got quite tipsy, and I got very flirtatious with this other guy who was at the party, but he isn't really my type, and I could tell I wasn't his either. But I was texting my friend, and telling her I was flirting with this GORGEOUS boy, and I was to tipsy; do you know what no, I'll admit, I was DRUNK that I thought he wouldn't notice but I am certain that he saw the text. I don't really care anymore though, he knew I was drunk and being a bit of a douchebag. Any way, I think in the back of my mind, I knew I couldn't have Daboy as a boyfriend ever, so I used the fact that there were many boys at this party to be as flirtatious as I could. I regret it though. I remember the night really well though, I enjoyed myself though, I wasn't so drunk that I forgot the night, I find things like that totally pointless. But looking through the pictures, I could see I was not uncomfortable with my body because I lost the fat and stuff on my body so I could sit comfortably, and I liked the way my legs looked if I say so myself. I am facing the fact that I absolutely cannot get over Daboy, every thought I have is associated with him some day. Sometimes when I walk behind him, or walk past him, I think of how it would be if we were together, I'd hug him when I walk past him, or kiss him, or when I'm walking behind him, I would run behind him and surprise him, then he'd hug me then we'd walk home hand in hand. I hate thinking like this, it is so annoying. I have never been so lovey dovey over a boy like this and I always thought of it as so pathetic, but it's caught me and I can't get away. I am already dreading this week because I'm on term break and I won't see him for a whole week, in addition to the two weekends always have off when I never see him, so I compensate by looking through his facebook pictures. I am contemplating on adding him. SEE, I AM SO DEEP IN THIS THAT I LOOK THROUGH HIS PICTURES AND I AM NOT EVEN FRIENDS WITH HIM ON FACEBOOK!! Yesterday I was on the phone to my best friend and she was telling me to delete the pictures that he would judge me on if I did eventually add him on facebook. To be honest it was for the best because sometimes my "You only live once" instincts get the best of me, so I know one day I'll do it. I did the same thing for her, because she is in the same position as me (kind of), she really really likes this boy and she hasn't even added him on facebook but I am trying to tell her to do it because it would look less stalkerish than me, and you can tell she REALLY likes him, she never stops talking about him, but she's going to a party that he will also be going to, so he'll probably end up adding her on facebook, and we'll live happily ever after. I actually think I love Daboy. I know it sounds pathetic, a 16 year old saying she loves someone,  but I actually think I do. Every time I think of us together, I get butterflies. Every time I come to school, I am looking forward to seeing him, and the butterflies fly even faster in my stomach. I need to get over him though, he has a girlfriend. I can't hit those boundaries. I say this to myself every single day, but I cannot seem to get over him. I just can't be a "homewrecker". WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO CLEO.


Cleopvtrv
xoxoxoxox

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