(No longer) Teenage (but still a) Dreamer

Well, I have never felt so low in my life. I received my results for the two exams, and they were terrible. I don't even want to say what I got. All I can say is  that I feel awful now that I have done them. I thought I could work hard on my studies and my weight, and other elements of my life and I could become a better person. That hasn't worked because last week I was 11 st 5 and now I am 11 stone 10 and a failure. I just feel like crap and I don't really know what to do with my life. I just want to hide in a hole and die. I seriously don't know what I can do. Just starve myself until I get to where I want to be? Not even socialise so that I can get good grades? Close myself off from all my friends so that even during lunch and break I am in a separate room studying? Up until now I have spent ages studying by myself, and I just don't understand. I haven't been able to blurt out my feelings because I just haven't had time. I STILL LIKE DABOY. I had a conve...

It's the end of the Christmas holidays, and it is literally back to life, and back to reality. I started school on the 7th and as soon as I went in I was bombarded with all the revision I have to do in preparation for my exam on the 10th!! Tomorrow! I have done so much revision for it during the Christmas Holidays, I can honestly say, and my mind is just filled with Psychology exam facts. I think I am going to do quite well in this exam, but I'll get back to you about it after tomorrow. Plus I have another exam on the 14th, which is Government and Politics. Argh I am so done with this. Anyway, I have tried to tell myself that I don't like Daboy, but he returned with this cool hair cut and dyed the front. What the fuck is he trying to do to me? Just as I try to lose interest in him he does something cool like that. But I am still fulfilling my aims of ignoring him and telling myself that I do not find him attractive in any way at all... by the way, I was really surprised whe...

.. Not quite in the context you are probably imagining. I feel like, now that it's 2013, I want to grow up a bit. I feel like from ages 11-16 I have always acted like a grumpy teenager, and considering I am the youngest out of the whole family, siblings, cousins, everything.. I feel like I have been depending on everyone too much, and have not managed to actually do things independently, which I have the capacity to do so I feel this is the year to begin that mindset, and also, perhaps image? I don't know, every time I try to change my image, it goes horribly wrong. So I guess I'll just stick to mindset. If I prove myself as an independent girl who is 17 going on 18, then my family will not remain so over protective over me. For New Years Eve, I went out with 2 of my friends to view the fireworks at Westminster Bridge. We went to eat first and everyone around us was so much older and we were even given glasses of wine because the waiter thought we were older than we actuall...