New year... Old me?
.. Not quite in the context you are probably imagining. I feel like, now that it's 2013, I want to grow up a bit. I feel like from ages 11-16 I have always acted like a grumpy teenager, and considering I am the youngest out of the whole family, siblings, cousins, everything.. I feel like I have been depending on everyone too much, and have not managed to actually do things independently, which I have the capacity to do so I feel this is the year to begin that mindset, and also, perhaps image? I don't know, every time I try to change my image, it goes horribly wrong. So I guess I'll just stick to mindset. If I prove myself as an independent girl who is 17 going on 18, then my family will not remain so over protective over me. For New Years Eve, I went out with 2 of my friends to view the fireworks at Westminster Bridge. We went to eat first and everyone around us was so much older and we were even given glasses of wine because the waiter thought we were older than we actually were.. which was quite flattering.. anyway, back to the point, I was thinking, these people who I'd consider as "grown ups" are reasonably close in age to me, so I shouldn't feel like I'm a child anymore, I am border-lining on adulthood. WOW I AM ACTUALLY BORDER-LINING ON ADULTHOOD, me, Cleopvtrv. I am almost an adult. I get a bit emotional because I was always that adorable, sweet child, and now I'm going to be all grown up. I'm going to have to prove myself as that responsible young adult. Anyway, how am I actually going to be able to prove myself as a responsible, mature adult? I have been thinking about it and I will be taking these steps;
1. I have this issue where I take my sister's clothes or food, then lie about it when she asks me if I have seen it or taken it. I will therefore buy myself clothes I like and look nice in them so I will not feel the need to take anything from her, and if I do see something she is wearing which I like, I will buy it myself.
2. After Christmas dinner, I put on 4 pounds, I gave up and stopped my diet, and I am sure I am well in the 12 stone category. Therefore I will get to my target weight which is 11 St 0 by February even if it means I kill myself with my jogging workouts and just drinking tea.
3. I spend too much time on Tumblr looking at people I want to be like and trying to make myself look like them. I will stop doing this and I will spend more time on my school work and not try and change my image into someone who I feel is better than me. If I am myself, I can be the best I can be. Be the best Cleopvtrv.
4. FORGET ABOUT DABOY. He's leaving sixth form in June or July, whatever, and I cannot live in gloom and misery just because I could never get with him. I cannot keep thinking about a boy who doesn't even know my name. I mean, that's just pathetic. I'll start off by not staring at him when he comes to the common room, and just being myself because it's really the easier option. I also won't develop a fixation over the boy I like, if I think a boy is hot, he's hot. I won't picture us in a relationship because it always ends up hurting me in some way.
5. Focus on my academia. If I don't go on Tumblr, Facebook, and Twitter and just stick to writing on this blog here and there and maintaining a strong relationship with my books, I'll have a very healthy mind.
6. Don't depend on masturbation to help calm me down.. I usually masturbate before I go to sleep. I feel weird writing about it because I never even talk about it. If I stop doing it, it won't be another secret I'm keeping from everybody. Another stressful thing on my mind. I have enough stress and revision on my mind. The less secrets I have, the more calm and collected person I can become in 2013.
So, I guess I'll be setting these as my new years resolutions. It's the most fitting thing to do as it is the new year, and everyone is talking about new beginnings.
HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE.
Cleopvtrv
xoxoxoxoxo
1. I have this issue where I take my sister's clothes or food, then lie about it when she asks me if I have seen it or taken it. I will therefore buy myself clothes I like and look nice in them so I will not feel the need to take anything from her, and if I do see something she is wearing which I like, I will buy it myself.
2. After Christmas dinner, I put on 4 pounds, I gave up and stopped my diet, and I am sure I am well in the 12 stone category. Therefore I will get to my target weight which is 11 St 0 by February even if it means I kill myself with my jogging workouts and just drinking tea.
3. I spend too much time on Tumblr looking at people I want to be like and trying to make myself look like them. I will stop doing this and I will spend more time on my school work and not try and change my image into someone who I feel is better than me. If I am myself, I can be the best I can be. Be the best Cleopvtrv.
4. FORGET ABOUT DABOY. He's leaving sixth form in June or July, whatever, and I cannot live in gloom and misery just because I could never get with him. I cannot keep thinking about a boy who doesn't even know my name. I mean, that's just pathetic. I'll start off by not staring at him when he comes to the common room, and just being myself because it's really the easier option. I also won't develop a fixation over the boy I like, if I think a boy is hot, he's hot. I won't picture us in a relationship because it always ends up hurting me in some way.
5. Focus on my academia. If I don't go on Tumblr, Facebook, and Twitter and just stick to writing on this blog here and there and maintaining a strong relationship with my books, I'll have a very healthy mind.
6. Don't depend on masturbation to help calm me down.. I usually masturbate before I go to sleep. I feel weird writing about it because I never even talk about it. If I stop doing it, it won't be another secret I'm keeping from everybody. Another stressful thing on my mind. I have enough stress and revision on my mind. The less secrets I have, the more calm and collected person I can become in 2013.
So, I guess I'll be setting these as my new years resolutions. It's the most fitting thing to do as it is the new year, and everyone is talking about new beginnings.
HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE.
Cleopvtrv
xoxoxoxoxo
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