Back to life, back to reality.

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It's the end of the Christmas holidays, and it is literally back to life, and back to reality. I started school on the 7th and as soon as I went in I was bombarded with all the revision I have to do in preparation for my exam on the 10th!! Tomorrow! I have done so much revision for it during the Christmas Holidays, I can honestly say, and my mind is just filled with Psychology exam facts. I think I am going to do quite well in this exam, but I'll get back to you about it after tomorrow. Plus I have another exam on the 14th, which is Government and Politics. Argh I am so done with this. Anyway, I have tried to tell myself that I don't like Daboy, but he returned with this cool hair cut and dyed the front. What the fuck is he trying to do to me? Just as I try to lose interest in him he does something cool like that. But I am still fulfilling my aims of ignoring him and telling myself that I do not find him attractive in any way at all... by the way, I was really surprised when I came back on this because I couldn't help but notice that my blog has more than 200 views. Seriously I just planned on having this as a type of diary, I can't believe people actually give a shit about this... I'm flattered haha. My last entry received 17 views, I can't believe that... was it that interesting? wow.. ANYWAY, I have followed through with my academia plans, and focusing on my work rather than going on facebook, twitter or tumblr too much. Besides, I have tumblr on my phone and I can just go on it when I actually have free time, e.g when I'm on the bus, or trying to avoid conversation. Another problem I am having is that I have been feeling really jealous of my friends lately, and I hate the feeling of jealousy. I try to ignore it because it can turn you into an ugly person, but my friend recently posted a picture of her afro, and it is amazing. It's so annoying because we started our "growing our hair" process at the same time, and her hair is way past her shoulders, and I recently had to cut my hair above my shoulders because I had so many split ends. Also, as I said in an earlier entry, my two friends are just getting closer and closer to eachother, with such similarities, and I just feel like the odd one out. I'm the fatter one, they are both slender, I have short hair, I'm not doing the same subjects as them. I just feel a bit isolated so I just spend my time in free rooms revising, because I hate the awkwardness of our conversations. Whenever they talk about losing weight, I just feel like I can't participate because they are talking about "toning up" but I am not there. I am just fat, if I toned up I would just look like a hench man. They're just slim, have nice hair, nice skin, one is even in a happy relationship with a hot boy, while I'm here struggling with food and to even manage to lose 5 pounds. Every time I feel like I am making progress, something has to hit me and make me feel like a fat bitch again. I don't know, maybe another one of my aims should be to be more confident in myself. My friend is also pissing me off with her obsession with this boy she seems to love. She never seems to shut up about him. It's so annoying and not helping with my Daboy situation. I'm tired of hearing his name... I don't know why I have been so bitter about people recently, but I just think that I hold too many things in during my day at school that there are actually times when I scream behind the soundproof toilet doors at school (I hope that wasn't a lie). I guess that's what's so great about having this blog though, it allows me to let it all out. So, I am now going to get back to my life as a stressed school girl, and back to reality of my psychology exam being in a matter of hours.


Cleopvtrv

xoxoxoxoxoxox

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