Slutty Virgins?
Over the past few days, I've found myself thinking; Is there such thing as a slutty virgin? Or is someone who makes the most of her encounters with men and stops at sex at risk of being hurt or feeling violated a strategic gameplan?
I know another girl here who was known as the "anything but" girl. I thought it was quite derogatory because that's her business. It doesn't make her any less of a person. It just means she's never quite been in a position where she wanted to lose her virginity to any of the horny losers at university...Right?
Well, a few days ago, I found out people call me the "tease" because I have on occasion invited people to my flat and never gone any further than foreplay with them. Does this make me a tease or a sensible individual who doesn't want to risk getting hurt by guys here, and regretting my first time? I'm not too sure anymore... Especially after realising that I'm the only virgin out of the 32 people who live in my block of flats. But that's not a bad thing. Is it? Part of me(my head and vagina) wants to just get it over and done with, but another part of me (my heart) wants to wait and find that special person to do it with.
The reason this is such a major and sensitive topic to me at the moment is because I believe I had my first one night stand, without sex, a couple of days ago. It took me a while to decide to write about it because it took me a while to realise it was a one night stand... I was waiting for a friend request on facebook, a bump into in town, SOMETHING! But it's been two days, and nothing. But what did I expect? He doesn't have my number. He only knows my first name only... Let me explain. My friend got us talking at the club, he was tall, very handsome and we got to talking and had loads in common.We ended up talking for hours after the club night was over, then he got my taxi back home. I stayed strong and said, I wanted him to drop me home after his stop... Then he started kissing my neck, and that completely threw my and altered my decision in which I decided to just make one stop; His house. We got to even more talking. He gave me some comfy clothes to get into and we were just in his bed talking for ages. Then we kissed, and things escalated from there... But I made sure it was clear that I was not going to have sex with him. After all, that would be my first. I didn't want to risk feeling like crap for ages from one mistake. We just kissed... A lot! Teased eachother with our clothes on. I found myself performing the smallest, but most affectionate, and intimate actions on him. Rubbing his hair, kissing his head and hands, and vice versa. He would kiss my head and back. It was just really sweet. But I noticed one thing. No matter how many times he would bring out his phone, or I would bring up the topic of a mobile, he wouldn't ask me for my number. I hinted at it numerous times. But no. So I just waited until the next morning, to see if he would ask. No, no, no. Part of me wanted to write it on his blackboard, but I thought that was a bit of a hooker move... Or something. It just wasn't me. So I left it. When he left to shower, and I was getting ready to leave, I saw his work name tag and I got his first and last name. FACEBOOK was the first thing to come to mind. I forgot the surname as soon as I got back home. I found myself going through the guy's first name on facebook just in case I could find him, but I had no luck. So I gave up. Until a few hours later. My encounter with him had been playing on my mind for ages, and I FOUND HIM. The question was now "Do I send him a friend request? Or leave it?" He might have wanted to leave it as a first name and that's it basis. So now, I have his facebook, but I'm not going to do anything about it. If we bump into each other, then I guess that will be the ultimate factor in me pursuing any kind of friendship or relationship with him... If he wants to. But when one finds herself in this position, it forces me to think,
"Am I a slutty virgin? Or I am I just unlucky in romance?" Is there such thing as a slutty virgin? What defines a slut? What exactly is a slut? It can't simply be their body count... And what's so bad about being the "everything but" girl? The "tease"?
On another, more positive note, my mum is coming up to my university this week, and I'm out of cigarettes. She doesn't know about my smoking habit, and she knows absolutely nothing about my "sex" life. I'd prefer to keep it that way. I decided, now that I'm out of cigarettes, I'll try and give up smoking, at least from now until she comes up on the weekend. This week, Saint Cleopvtrv is back :)
Cleopvtrv
xoxoxoxoxoxoxo
I know another girl here who was known as the "anything but" girl. I thought it was quite derogatory because that's her business. It doesn't make her any less of a person. It just means she's never quite been in a position where she wanted to lose her virginity to any of the horny losers at university...Right?
Well, a few days ago, I found out people call me the "tease" because I have on occasion invited people to my flat and never gone any further than foreplay with them. Does this make me a tease or a sensible individual who doesn't want to risk getting hurt by guys here, and regretting my first time? I'm not too sure anymore... Especially after realising that I'm the only virgin out of the 32 people who live in my block of flats. But that's not a bad thing. Is it? Part of me(my head and vagina) wants to just get it over and done with, but another part of me (my heart) wants to wait and find that special person to do it with.
The reason this is such a major and sensitive topic to me at the moment is because I believe I had my first one night stand, without sex, a couple of days ago. It took me a while to decide to write about it because it took me a while to realise it was a one night stand... I was waiting for a friend request on facebook, a bump into in town, SOMETHING! But it's been two days, and nothing. But what did I expect? He doesn't have my number. He only knows my first name only... Let me explain. My friend got us talking at the club, he was tall, very handsome and we got to talking and had loads in common.We ended up talking for hours after the club night was over, then he got my taxi back home. I stayed strong and said, I wanted him to drop me home after his stop... Then he started kissing my neck, and that completely threw my and altered my decision in which I decided to just make one stop; His house. We got to even more talking. He gave me some comfy clothes to get into and we were just in his bed talking for ages. Then we kissed, and things escalated from there... But I made sure it was clear that I was not going to have sex with him. After all, that would be my first. I didn't want to risk feeling like crap for ages from one mistake. We just kissed... A lot! Teased eachother with our clothes on. I found myself performing the smallest, but most affectionate, and intimate actions on him. Rubbing his hair, kissing his head and hands, and vice versa. He would kiss my head and back. It was just really sweet. But I noticed one thing. No matter how many times he would bring out his phone, or I would bring up the topic of a mobile, he wouldn't ask me for my number. I hinted at it numerous times. But no. So I just waited until the next morning, to see if he would ask. No, no, no. Part of me wanted to write it on his blackboard, but I thought that was a bit of a hooker move... Or something. It just wasn't me. So I left it. When he left to shower, and I was getting ready to leave, I saw his work name tag and I got his first and last name. FACEBOOK was the first thing to come to mind. I forgot the surname as soon as I got back home. I found myself going through the guy's first name on facebook just in case I could find him, but I had no luck. So I gave up. Until a few hours later. My encounter with him had been playing on my mind for ages, and I FOUND HIM. The question was now "Do I send him a friend request? Or leave it?" He might have wanted to leave it as a first name and that's it basis. So now, I have his facebook, but I'm not going to do anything about it. If we bump into each other, then I guess that will be the ultimate factor in me pursuing any kind of friendship or relationship with him... If he wants to. But when one finds herself in this position, it forces me to think,
"Am I a slutty virgin? Or I am I just unlucky in romance?" Is there such thing as a slutty virgin? What defines a slut? What exactly is a slut? It can't simply be their body count... And what's so bad about being the "everything but" girl? The "tease"?
On another, more positive note, my mum is coming up to my university this week, and I'm out of cigarettes. She doesn't know about my smoking habit, and she knows absolutely nothing about my "sex" life. I'd prefer to keep it that way. I decided, now that I'm out of cigarettes, I'll try and give up smoking, at least from now until she comes up on the weekend. This week, Saint Cleopvtrv is back :)
Cleopvtrv
xoxoxoxoxoxoxo
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