RESULTS RESULTS RESULTS.

-
Well, I have never felt so low in my life. I received my results for the two exams, and they were terrible. I don't even want to say what I got. All I can say is  that I feel awful now that I have done them. I thought I could work hard on my studies and my weight, and other elements of my life and I could become a better person. That hasn't worked because last week I was 11 st 5 and now I am 11 stone 10 and a failure. I just feel like crap and I don't really know what to do with my life. I just want to hide in a hole and die. I seriously don't know what I can do. Just starve myself until I get to where I want to be? Not even socialise so that I can get good grades? Close myself off from all my friends so that even during lunch and break I am in a separate room studying? Up until now I have spent ages studying by myself, and I just don't understand. I haven't been able to blurt out my feelings because I just haven't had time. I STILL LIKE DABOY. I had a conversation with him -MY FIRST- about what he thinks about being surrounded with girls but it was banter, he probably thought I was being friendly, but I was simply in awe, and I still am.. I just don't know what to do anymore. He has a girlfriend, and I am considering what our lives would be like if they broke up... Oh Cleopvtrv, what are you going to do? YOU'RE A MESS!!!!!

Anyway, to all the people who read this, happy Monday, or should I say Tuesday, and make sure you remember, every day counts. Every second. If you always put your mind on what you want to do every second of every day, you can become a pro at it.

Cleopvtrv

xoxoxoxoxoxxo


Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

...Such eventful months.

-
My last blog entry was in October 2013. I have almost 4 months to persevere in my studies and my life generally, and I must say... I REALLY HAVE. I will write a list of things that have happened, good and bad in these months because so much has happened and it's so long to write as a paragraph. I celebrated my 18th birthday in December, Had an amazing house party a few days later and had my first kiss Went to my country of origin and it was amazing, I had a cultural epiphany Had holiday blues Went to a couple of clubs Still struggled with weight loss. Have a second gorgeous nephew. I have discovered that life is not about size and how you look, but how you feel about yourself and that will definitely project on the outside. I must say though after coming back from my holiday, I had quite a glow. My first(second) kiss was not as amazing as I thought it would be. Maybe because I was drunk, maybe because I knew the boy for ages so it was hardly romantic. Now that I am eig...
Read more

Carrie Bradshaw conquers all.

-
Well, it's been a long time since my last blog entry and countless things have happened. I can't even begin to explain how university has changed me since my last entry. So like one of my old entries, I'll try to list the events so that we can have a bit of a catch up. I did all my A-level examinations, and managed to finish secondary with an A* B and a C grade. With the struggles and distractions I suffered with in sixth form, I must say, I did quite a good job. I managed to get into an okay university, as I had to apply for not so great universities with my predicted grades. I decided, it's not going to be about the university now, it'll be about the grades I plan on achieving in uni. I started university and attended freshers week in a drunken, high blur. Yes, HIGH,  I have no intention of promoting substance abuse but although I was such a state during my freshers week, I undoubtedly enjoyed it.  I made a countless amount of friends, with boys and girls, a...
Read more

Epiphany after epiphany after epiphany

-
The older I get, I find that I have more frequent and stronger epiphanies. I also find these epiphanies all have a recurring theme, being that it always has something to do with me getting older and getting closer to what I envisaged myself being and looking like as an adult, when I was younger. I had a vague picture in my mind, but I wasn't sure if I would be able to get there at various phases of life. In retrospect, I am coming to terms with the fact that it has been really tough to get at the stage I am at now, and that I have done a whole lot to get where I'm at now, although, I frequently forget the struggle and hard work it took to get here, because I haven't yet got a job or achieved everything that I sometimes feel I could potentially achieve at 22. Some of these things are extremely materialistic things, like my own place, or my own car, or even driving lessons. But I have beyond a doubt, done a whole LOT. I think that now that I'm sexually active, I am also...
Read more